Christmas was in Lumby this year. The house looked Christmas-y and awesome. There was some confusion over dinner - Lolly was a little upset that there was no garlic bread even if she was supposed to bring it with turkey. And there was only one type of dessert! Gasp.
As usual the highlight was the program.
TJacs did a gameshow called Pinoy Genio / Henyo? RJacs danced to
Taio Cruz. Ellie and Franz did hoopaloop! NJacs did a skit about Pinoy traditions. Diys did three takes on the Nativity (in English, in bad Tagalog, in better Tagalog) and unvelied Tito Butch as baby Jesus on the last take. Lolly asked me for my "highest" heels and sang "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."
Mom and my big idea for our program was to pretend that we were looking for Lady Gaga lyrics to sing at the program when they come across a video of two guys in a parody as Lady GagO. The two guys would of course be Bill and Dad. This was obviously veto-ed by Bill and Dad and we ended up with...
Some leaked documents from the latest social network phenomenon – Wikiconfession – confidential documents containing texts of confessions leaked from a certain Pinoy family...
Confession 1
Tony – Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was 6 months ago. These are my sins. I told a corny joke, Father.
Fr – To the audience – This must be Tony.
Fr. – To Tony - God will forgive us if we tell corny jokes once in a while. For your penance – one Hail Mary, and make your jokes funnier next time. Now say the Act of Contrition.
Tony – O my God, I’m heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins…ah, wait, Father, I forgot a sin.
Fr – Ok. What‘s that?
Tony – I repeated the joke, Father.
Fr – That’s ok. You thought it was a good joke. Same penance.
Tony - O my God, I’m heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins…ah, Father, I forgot another sin.
Fr. - Yes?
Tony – I repeated it more than once, Father.
Fr – I see. Two times, three times? That’s ok.
Tony – I repeated it 10x, Father.
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Confession 2
Butch – Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was…(hesitate…count with your fingers)…I can’t remember, Father.
Father: (To himself - Fresh meat. This must be Butch – I must be kind.) That’s all right, my child. What do you wish to confess?
Butch: I lost control of the fireworks on New Year’s Eve, Father.
Father: Ok. For your penance, say one Hail Mary. Now say the Act of Contrition.
Butch: O my God, I’m heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins…, ah, wait, Father, I forgot another sin.
Father: What’s that?
Butch – The fireworks went inside neighbors’ living room.
Father: Ok, add one Hail Mary.
Butch – O my God, I’m heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins…Wait, Father, I forgot another sin.
Father – What’s that?
Butch: I told the neighbor my name is Ho Gil Lee.
Father – Add 5 Hail Mary’s. Say your contrition.
Butch – O my God – I have another sin.
Father – What is it?
Butch – I wrecked Ho Gil’s car.
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Confession 3
Penitent – Bless me, Father,…I broke my diet again.
Father – Is that you, Rita.
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Confession 4
Penitent – Bless me Father - I kicked my husband out of the house, so the Lakers would win.
Father – Is that you, Ruby?
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Confession 5
Penitent – Bless me Father - I didn’t finish my joke again.
Father – Is that you, Patria, my child?
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Confession 6
Penitent – Bless me Father – I contributed to global warming because I farted after Risa fell asleep.
Father – Is that you, Nino?
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Confession 7
Penitent – Bless me Father - I snuck into the house because I came home so late.
Fr – (interrupts) This must be one of the twins.
Penitent – It was 9pm, Father.
Fr – Ah, it’s Nanan pala.
Bill was the priest and Mom, Dad and I took turns being the confessees. Fun for all. Merry Christmas!
